Your baby is born, you and baby are doing great and your nurse comes in to let you know that you are free to go home. Great news, right? It’s the news that you have been waiting for, so why does it feel so scary?
You are not alone. Yes, you may have taken every parenting class your hospital offered, you had a birth doula and you may even have a postpartum doula awaiting your arrival at home. So why are you still scared?
Your new baby is so tiny and so fragile, or at least it seems so. One wrong move and who knows what can happen. Your baby depends on you for survival. Let me say it again, your baby depends on you for survival. Yes, this is the scary part. Nothing has ever depended on you for survival before.
You feel that one false move and your baby may starve, get a diaper rash, cry inconsolably, and you will fail as a parent. I know this feeling. Actually, most moms know this feeling. You are not alone. Unfortunately most women feel alone in this feeling and they didn’t expect to feel this way.
Although, at some level this feeling is unavoidable, this feeling can be much more mild than most women experience. There are many you can do many things to prepare for bringing the baby home.
Tip 1: Prepare the space for baby
Simple tip, but can be very helpful. Imagine your first few days with your baby at home. Where will you change baby? Where will baby sleep? Where will you feed baby? Having a clean and organized space will help you to feel less overwhelmed when baby comes.
Tip 2: Plan your food
Many families participate in food trains to help with their meals. They may designate a friend or family member to sign up for a day to bring food to your family. This is very helpful, but not all families have this as an option. If this is not an option for you, make freezer meals ahead of time or sign up for a food service. Your family will be tired and having to plan and prepare meals will feel very stressful if not impossible. Eliminate this task for at least a few weeks.
Tip 3: Communicate with your partner and your family
Communicate ahead of time with your partner and your family about visitors, but don’t be afraid to change your mind. You may not realize how tired you will be or how overwhelmed you may feel. You may think that you will not want visitors or help, but then change your mind or visa versa. Go with how you feel. This is a difficult time and you need to listen to yourself.
Tip 4: Bond with Baby
These first few weeks are so important for mom and baby. Enjoy this time and realize that your only task is to bond with baby and recover. Stay in bed or at least stay in the house and let your partner run errands and run the household while you rest and spend time with the baby. The first few weeks are a recovery time for you and a time to establish a strong bond with baby. You are not being lazy if you spend some weeks in the bed or in the house. You need this time.
Tip 5: Ask for help
There is a huge learning curve the first month with the baby. You are not only trying to learn about your baby, but you are also recovering. You will be tired, and that is a completely normal feeling. Don’t over do it. Ask for help from your partner, family, and friends, but this may not be enough. Make hiring a postpartum doula a priority. Postpartum doulas will make this transition into a family a smooth and positive experience for you. They are trained to deal with newborns, families and new moms needs. They are non-judgmental, positive and encouraging and will help you to gain the confidence and strength you need to meet your and your family’s needs.
Yes, the transition into a family has its challenges, but if you appropriately prepare for this incredible time it will be filled more with joy then stress.
