Becoming an “involved dad*” or a “supportive partner” isn’t just a role that begins at birth! It’s a journey that starts during pregnancy. We’re witnessing a transformative era in parenting. Dads are increasingly expected to step up and share in the responsibilities of nurturing a growing family. Employers are beginning to recognize this shift by implementing paternal and parental leave policies. Social media platforms like TikTok are flooded with heartfelt “involved dad” videos, reshaping societal expectations of fatherhood.

Amidst these strides, one crucial question remains. How can dads truly support their partners if they haven’t been actively involved during the entire 40+ week gestational period?

For moms-to-be, the journey into motherhood often begins the moment they discover they’re expecting. They carry the physical weight of pregnancy, as well as the mental and emotional toll it entails. Despite strides towards sharing the load, the reality persists that moms often start being the “default parent” during pregnancy.

If we expect dads to be fully engaged during parental leave and beyond, shouldn’t they also be involved in supporting a healthy pregnancy? Research consistently shows that expecting dads involvement in prenatal care can significantly impact outcomes.

Their involvement helps reducing mortality rates and supporting maternal mental health in the postpartum period. Why aren’t we emphasizing more on how non-birthing partners can actively support mothers throughout this transformative time?

Meet Matthew Morris—a Marine Corps veteran turned author and brand new dad. Matthew’s journey into parenthood began amidst personal challenges. He dealt with a motorcycle accident and unexpected discharge from active duty, coinciding with the news of his wife Shanon’s layoff and pregnancy.

Determined to redefine fatherhood from the outset, Matthew took proactive steps to support Shanon throughout her pregnancy. From cooking nutritious meals and planning fun getaways, to attending every prenatal appointment and fielding the in-laws, Matthew immersed himself fully in every aspect of pregnancy alongside his wife.

Yet, Matthew soon discovered a glaring gap in resources specifically tailored for expectant fathers. After 40+ weeks of asking providers, parents, employers, family and friends across 15 countries, he still could not find what he was looking for. Frustrated by the lack of accessible and concise information, Matthew’s wife Shanon encouraged him to stop lamenting and write the book himself. And so he did.

Matthew’s new mission after getting out of the Marine Corps is to educate Dads and empower Moms during their pregnancy. His goal is to improve maternal and paternal mental health in the perinatal period.

His book, “The Partner’s Purpose During Pregnancy,” distills his firsthand experiences into 33 actionable insights. Shanon endorses each recommendation herself, giving it the “mom-stamp of approval.” The book, less than 100 pages, is a quick, accessible read–which is what the TikTok generation needs.

Filled with heartfelt anecdotes and a touch of humor, Matthew’s book not only provides practical advice but also serves as a testament to his dedication to modern fatherhood. Not to mention, the book itself is a testament to the partnership needed to succeed in parenthood, as Shanon edited, illustrated, and published it. Matthew is now armpit deep in diapers tromping, through the woods with his daughter on his shoulders, able and capable of being an involved dad, after having prepared for this throughout Shanon’s entire pregnancy.

Being an involved dad isn’t just about stepping up after birth. It’s about embracing the journey alongside your partner from the very beginning. As societal expectations evolve, so too must our support systems for expectant fathers. We must ensure they have the tools and encouragement needed to be truly present partners from the moment pregnancy begins.

*Note: this is not gender exclusive.

This post is written by Shanon Morris, editor and illustrator of “The Partner’s Purpose During Pregnancy,” wife of Matthew Morris, and a former client we have had the privilege to support. Shanon is a Navy veteran, communications strategist, and Co-Founder/CEO of Hop On and Hold On, LLC. When she’s not managing a business or wrangling her husband and daughter, Shanon can be found enjoying some “me” time at the nearest yoga or dance studio.