In the Beginning…
When I was around 34 weeks pregnant with our son Leo, my husband Rich and I watched The Business of Being Born, a documentary that gave us some very important questions to ask ourselves. Especially me.
I knew I wanted to attempt an intervention-free vaginal birth with Leo but that was literally the only thing I was preparing for. I had no idea that not only could I give birth without meds, I could write up an entire Birth Plan with instructions for how I wanted to be monitored, immediate skin to skin with baby, right down to what I did or didn’t want put in our precious baby’s tiny body. Apparently I could have someone supporting me called a Doula. And if I wanted… I could give birth at home with someone called a Mid-Wife!
Give birth at home? Sign me up!
Because I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, we (Rich) acted fast and researched all of our options. It turned out we waited too long for any Mid-Wife to take me on as a client. However, we were able to bring on a Doula who empowered me and Rich through over 50 hours of intense labor and a successful intervention-free vaginal birth at University of Chicago.
As I look back, my experience was awesome. There were too many times where we felt our freedoms were being limited. Limited in ways that did not reflect the services being paid for. Don’t get me wrong, hell yeah, I support any Woman who decides to give birth in a hospital. However and wherever she chooses. We are owed that freedom. As the Givers of Life, Birthing Women deserve to be waited on hand and foot. Riding the beautifully indescribable waves of labor.
I mean that in all sincerity. I truly wish that all laboring Women had access to the best birthing team whatever that means to her!
Which is why I chose to have a home birth when we found out I was pregnant with our Wren less than 2 years later. For me (and Rich) it was a no brainer! We tried the hospital, it was cool. But to be able to stay in the comfort of your own home sweet home while giving birth, there was no other option.
We immediately began researching home birth services on our friend Google and came across only a few to choose from. It seems to still be somewhat of a new concept, or rather coming back in style. I reached out to my friends who work in the birthing world. They helped confirm our decision to go with Gentle Birth Care and the incredible Humans who nurture this safe and empowering space.
What I appreciate most about their practice is all of the little ways they find to empower you as the Giver of Life. Something as small as peeing in a cup, testing it yourself and relaying your results back to your Mid-Wife impacted me immediately. I was reminded that this is my body, I am in control. This pregnancy, this responsibility, this honor were all mine.
Too many times we forget we have a right to know what is going on with our own bodies when we are in the hands of medical professionals in all fields.
Choosing to give birth at home seemed to be the best option for me in regards to this. While my birthing experience wasn’t traumatic at the hospital, there were so many different staff members in and out of my room(s) during those 50+ hours which made for a chaotic line of communication. With Gentle Birth Care, my team was small and I met everyone on staff during my check ins, which made me feel comfortable. I trusted our communication and that made me feel so safe and supported leading up to and right through delivery!
With the odds of being delivered on your due date extremely small. I went into labor and delivered Wren on hers!
I woke up at 4:30am to contractions that were small enough to send me back to sleep for 2 hours. By 7:00am my husband was on his way home from his morning clients and the Mid-Wife had been called. My GBC team of 2 arrived around 8:00am and I could tell they knew Wren would be here soon! She was making her way out so quickly my husband barely had time to fill the birthing pool! Shortly after 9:00am I was exhausted and desperate for someone else to get Wren out of me. My Mid-Wife and her Assistant gently reminded me that I was in control. It was up to me and only me, so I regained my focus and pushed until she came out.
It is likely for labor to move more quickly the second time around. But, I truly believe that mine lasted only 4.5 hours with Wren (compared to 50+ with Leo) because I was in the comfort of my own home. I was way more calm than my first time and so was everyone else. My body was as relaxed as I could be without medical interventions. The atmosphere was soothing just as I had prepared it with blue lowlights and candles, pictures of powerful women around me, familiar music in the background and the options of birthing anywhere in my home available.
How it ends… in love
I look back on this day and am so proud of myself. I am not any more proud than the birth of Leo at the hospital. But I am proud in a different way. At home I felt a sense of connection with myself that I did not have at the hands of random hospital staff. I know my body was meant to ride the waves of pregnancy and labor in the most comforting ways available. It was empowering beyond words. If I were to ever become pregnant again I would not hesitate to give birth at home.
My husband tells me often how grateful he is for us exploring our options and choosing to do a home birth. To this day he still feels empowered by the freedom and control of the entire process.
Every single pregnancy and birth is unique to Mama and baby. I encourage all expecting and birthing Mamas to do your own research. Know your options and stay informed. From hospital policies, to hiring a Doula, to financial support, to medical interventions and what is necessary, to birthing at home. We are the Givers of Life! We deserve to feel safe and supported during such an incredible life changing experience!
Written by Shea Gardner
Writer at Mama’s Play Blog
