The other day at a prenatal meeting a partner asked us the best question ever. What should I do for my wife once I have to go back to work. So we compiled a list of our most appreciated gestures you can do for her anytime once baby has arrived.
MAKE FOOD, FOOD, & MORE FOOD
Mom is feeding the baby; so you need to feed her. If she is breastfeeding she needs about 2,500 calories a day. She needs two types of food; snacks and meals. Foods that need the least amount of preparation and can easily be eaten, most likely with one hand while she holds the baby. Make sure the fridge and cabinets are stocked and that you take some time to learn about which foods are best for postpartum. Check out the book, The First Forty Day: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother. Take some time on the weekends to make meals and freeze them so mom can easily reheat and eat them throughout the week. Before you leave for work in the morning set up breakfast and some snacks for the day. Organize a meal train of people that can drop foods off for her. Please remember that just because she is home all day with the baby does not mean she has had time to make dinner! Some days may go amazing and she will have a beautiful dinner on the table awaiting your arrival. Some days you may come home to her in tears and wondering why she hasn’t showered in 3 days. She is at the whim of a tiny human that can do nothing for themselves nor communicate their needs. Be compassionate and get the Uber eats app.
LEARN HOW TO SOOTHE YOUR BABY
New moms have a lot on their mind. Did the baby eat enough, are they pooping enough, is the baby breathing, is this the right formula, am I producing enough milk, will I ever sleep more than 2 hours at a time and the list goes on. Sometimes they need a break. Make sure you can care for your baby without having to pass them back to mom every time they cry. The ultimate rookie dad guide to newborns and The Happiest Baby on the Block are great resources. These skills will allow you to take baby more often. Some great times are in the mornings as you get ready so mom can sleep an extra 30 minutes. Or, when you come home so she can have a moment to herself.
CHECK IN OFTEN AND SURPRISE HER
Check in on her needs throughout the day. ASK her specific questions about what she needs. If she is feeding the baby does she need you to get her water or her phone. Surprise her, set up a baby feeding station for her before you leave. Put a filled water bottle, some snacks and phone charger next to where she sits to feed the baby. Text her throughout the day to see how things are going. Staying home can be isolating and sometimes she may need a bit of adult conversation or just someone to listen about every little thing the baby does. Surprise her when you come home with flowers or grab dinner from her favorite place to eat.
BACKGROUND FEEDING SUPPORT
This is dependent on if your family is breastfeeding or bottle feeding but, there are many behind the scene jobs partners can do. Obviously making a bottle and feeding the baby is helpful but, also learning about sterilizing and storing breast milk or formula. Washing and sterilizing of pump parts, bottles, nipples and pacifiers is very helpful. Watch breastfeeding and latch how-to videos online, go with to see the lactation consultant. Sometimes moms need someone form another perspective to help gently guide with getting baby latched on well.
Lastly hire a postpartum doula to come in and help while your away or for a few overnight shits a week 😉
For more helpful tips attend our classes:
Baby-proofing Your Marriage: A Valentine’s Day Special
Co-Written by our doula team Chelsea & Christine
“I had the pleasure of working with the rockstar doula team of Christine and Chelsea. The moment I met them I knew I needed them by my side for my second pregnancy. Their knowledge, words of encouragement and sense of humor along the way made me feel comforted and truly supported. Never did I feel like my doula was too busy and because I had a team I never had the worry that when the day finally came I’d have to work with a stranger. C & C worked together seamlessly and they helped me achieve my goal of an unmedicated natural birth. For that I am forever grateful to them! Huge thank you to Chicago Family Doulas, love you ladies!!!”– Nicole 12/2018 via Facebook
