Adjusting from no children to one has many challenges including a huge learning curve, coping with relationship changes, adjusting to your new role as a parent and dealing with insecurities and unknowingness. It is hard becoming a parent for the first time. Life as you knew it has completely changed.
Having your second may feel like it will be a walk in the park. You already know how to care for a baby. You are more comfortable with nursing and you already are sleep deprived and somewhat used to it. Your second still comes with its own challenges. Balancing your time between the two, keeping up with your first while trying to relax and enjoy your time with the new baby. It is certainly more busy than when you had your first and it will leave you thinking, “why did I think having a baby the first time was challenging”.
Many believe that more you have the less extreme the changes. Feeling certain that having a third would be so much easier than baby one and two. The insecurities and adjustments felt with your first and perhaps your second won’t be an issue. Although this may be true, you now have a baby and older children, so meeting the needs of everyone may seem beyond impossible.
The transition from two to three can be a hard one. If you have children who are a little older you may have helpers, but you also have children who need to be taken to school, to camps, to friends houses, etc. It is really hard to find down time.
I had my third on a Tuesday and came home the next day. My two older ones were so excited and wanted to help. You know, hold the baby while walking around the house, changing her diaper and begging me to pump so they could feed her. SUPER helpful! They are only 6 and 4, so yes they can help, but they also don’t quite grasp the concept that this is a little person and not a doll. She can easily be hurt and running through the house while holding her is not safe behavior.
I couldn’t have the baby out of my sight for weeks, which really poses a challenge when home alone with all three of them from day 5. How does one use the bathroom, cook, clean and forget about showering and even changing until much later in the day.
Yes, you may have helpers that could grab a diaper or a blanket for the baby, but you also have children that need to be cared for. The never ending feeling of being a maid, cook, chauffeur, doctor, mediator is now paired again with being a food source and place of comfort for your new little one.
Adventuring out of the house for the first few times can also be challenging. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your friends and family. Be prepared and plan ahead.
Life with three certainly has its challenges but adding to a family always does. Try your hardest to make special time with the new baby. Sneaking in even a few minutes here and there throughout each day will make your days so much more enjoyable.
